That's So Raven: The Cow Costume
by unknown234
Summary: Taking place in the climax of the Halloween special "Don't Have a Cow," we see what goes on in Raven's head as her body and mind change from beauty to bovine.


_Note: Watch the That's So Raven episode "Don't Have a Cow" to understand the context to the situation._

As Chelsea struggles to turn the pages with her hooves, Raven tries to explain what's happening to their friend, Eddie, while trying to fight the change occurring in and outside of her.

"It's trooooooo! We really are cows!" Raven exclaimed.

Eddie shakes his head and rolls his eyes as if he just heard a bad joke. "Man, get out of here," he said smiling.

Raven saw Chelsea looking down into the old spell book, and was eager for this all to stop. She pushes Eddie out of the way with her hoof. "Did you find it?" She asked. However, it turned out that Chelsea wasn't reading the book. She failed to fight her new natural instincts, and she was munching the page with Raven and Chelsea's only hope of staying human. She nodded with the paper stuck between her teeth.

"Mmhm. Mmmm. And it's gooooood," Chelsea bellowed as she smiled and nodded. But Raven gave her a glare which brought Chelsea back to the problem. She just doomed them. It was only a matter of time before they look like they'd belong in a stall instead of a restaurant. Before that can sink in, Alana's friend, Muffy, speaks into the microphone.

"People, may I have your attention please?" She asked politely. But no one could hear her over the pop music. Loca quickly grabs it from her and yells, "Yo! CUT THE NOISE!" All of a sudden, the DJ scratches the record and everyone faces her. She then smiles and says, "Thank you." Out of nowhere and without thinking, Raven lets out a large moo that everyone hears. Everyone was looking at her awkwardly, this was not the attention that she and Chelsea wished for. After the spectacle, she covered her mouth with her hoof, which signaled Muffy to start the announcement. "It's time for the results of the costume contest…"

Raven stood next to Chelsea as Eddie had to go to the bathroom during this time due to having too much punch at the party. Normally she'd just listen to Muffy speak as she was curious if the spell made them win the costume contest, but she received a harsh realization of what else the spell did as her feet also turned into hooves to match what were previously her hands. She falls down and has a difficult time getting up, as she can only stand on her four hooves knowing she can't grab anything around to regain her balance as she doesn't have any fingers. It's like someone molded her hands and feet into large, brown table pegs. With everyone so fixated on Muffy's announcement, no one bothers to listen to two sets of hooves stumbling on the ground.

When Raven stands up, she starts adjusting to her new posture. She prepares to leave, she didn't want anyone looking at her, but for some reason she was significantly slower than before, and this wasn't because she couldn't walk on two legs anymore. Her spinal cord felt like it jumped up a foot the moment she stood up, because her head is now further from her back two legs than they were before, but this also wasn't the reason she was so slow. She turns her neck to her right side is horrified at what she sees. Her stomach had grown to an enormous size, to the point where it's practically her entire body. She remembered in biology class a couple of years back that cows are said to have four stomachs. Raven has been concerned about her diet and exercise lately, but she doesn't know how much jogging she has to do now to drop eight-hundred pounds of fat. Raven thought that her motorcycle sized-body was ripping through her clothes, but as if this all wasn't bad enough, Raven's clothes had magically disappeared. She was a naked, brown, one-thousand pound freak, but she didn't scream because she didn't want everyone looking at her in this state.

Her back legs were now contorted in a way she wasn't comfortable with, but she quickly got used to it for walking, but it felt like her butt felt like it was raised higher than normal. She wanted to touch her back leg and check to see what was wrong, but couldn't reach it. It didn't help that she had two sets of legs now. She felt a furry, thin object try to feel her back side for her, as if something was dusting her back side. Raven was frightened to think something had climbed onto her. But she then remembered that she has a tail now, so she sighs with both relief and disdain. When she breathed she realized her mouth was further away from her eyes than it normally was, with the nostrils being just above the mouth. She thought she felt something on her face, so she tried to lick it, but now her long tongue won't even pass her large nostrils. Her face was longer than before. She tries listening to Muffy's announcement while this goes on, and realizes her ears are higher than her eyes. She tries licking her snout again, either a bug landed on her face or she really wishes she could use a tissue right now, too bad there's no magic cauldron to solve her problem.

She then starts feeling much warmer of all sudden, were her clothes back? Was this ending? Nope, she couldn't feel her tail's fur as much as before, which only meant that she no longer has brown skin, but a coat of fur. She turns the front half of her body to view the back right of her body and sees that she has white fur containing large black spots all over her large stomach, the coat of a Holstein cow. She then turns her front half over to the other side only to bump into a peculiar site as the audience gasps in confusion, but it wasn't because of her current appearance, it was supposedly because of the contest results. Apparently Alana didn't win.

Raven comes face to face with a Holstein cow. She's never been this close to one before and was feeling relatively uncomfortable standing right next to the large, farm animal. The creature was looking around, confused until it came across Raven. Raven noticed something different about this cow. Her black eyes focused on the cow's head, as it looked like someone put a wig on it. It was red, long, straight, and looked like the beast just came from a rock concert. It was familiar to her, but she came to the sad realization. It wasn't a wig, it was a girl's hairstyle, and that girl was Chelsea Daniels. Chelsea was chewing cud and looked down, then back up at Raven, prompting Raven to look at the floor. Her dad kept the chill grill relatively clean so you could see reflections on the floor, but the mirroring ground didn't give Raven a sight she wanted to see. She didn't see her, she saw a large, mindless Holstein cow with a brown, curly wig licking her snout, and remembered that at that moment she was licking her face. She thought she was looking at Chelsea's badge from earlier, but remembered that cow didn't have white and back fur. It was over, but not in an ending that the livestock everyone knew as Raven and Chelsea wanted.

Before they could bellow out in agony though, they hear Alana on the stage angrily yell, "Raven and Chelsea?" Raven was at first frightened, as she didn't have anywhere to run, nor could she run. But while seeing Alana rip the paper on stage (that strangely started to look appetizing to her), the audience turned over to Raven and Chelsea and started applauding them. The cattle couple turn their front halves to see the entire room smiling and applauding them. They realize that they won the costume contest and beat Alana at her own game. The funny thing was, they weren't even wearing costumes, or anything for that matter. Raven wondered how she could get into the fashion business now that she'd rather eat them than fit in them, and hoped that cow fur wasn't the latest trend.

Re-adjusting her position, Raven started licking her snout and talking to Chelsea. "Well, we got our wish," she said sarcastically. Chelsea sighs through her snout holes and also speaks up. "Yep, all eyes are on us," she said disappointingly. Raven wanted to cheer her farmland friend up, and tried to find some positivity in the situation. They just beat Alana and humiliated her at her party, as cows no less. "Mind as well milk it," she said in an attempt at cheerfulness. Raven and Chelsea had yet to realize the irony of that statement, as both had a hard time thinking straight. Raven and Chelsea tried to live in the moment by cheering out loud with the audience. But there weren't cheers coming out of the two creatures' mouths. The normal Raven and Chelsea would flamboyantly celebrate their accomplishments by cheering and dancing to the latest hit album, this Raven and Chelsea stood there staring into the audience and unleashed their victory call:

"MMMOOOOOOOO!"


End file.
